What Ruffles My Feathers & Tickles Me Pink!

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I worry about my son, who recently attempted to end his marriage.  I never thought I would have to worry about domestic violence, having a son, but that is exactly what has happened.  She is extremely abusive--emotionally, physically, and verbally.  It is not a good environment for my small grandson., who recently turned 3.  My son is a very hard worker, respectful of women, and a loving & attentive father, who also does most of the housework, because she screams at him that he treats her like a slave, when he asks for her to help.  She is on the computer much of the day, even shooing away her young son as an annoyance.  When she does find occasional work, she does not contribute to paying any bills or household expenses, but selfishly keeps it only for herself.  She really is a foul-tempered, cruel, cold-hearted, psycho, who even goes so far as to threaten suicide to get her way.  I really do not like my daughter-in-law in the least, and have to hold back my true feelings when I am around her.

I knew, when I first met her, that she was not right for my son.  I could see something behind her eyes that I did not trust.  And, I am not the kind of parent to think that no one is good enough for my son---I have befriended and embraced many of his girlfriends in the past, and genuinely liked them.  Whenever he doesn't answer his phone, I am immediately and intensely stricken with fear, as she has threatened my son before with a knife.  I have a constant, nagging terror that one day, I will get a phone call from a police officer or hospital emergency-room doctor, telling me that my son has been murdered.  I have to work at pushing the thought out of my head, to retain my sanity. 

Her most recent threat, is that she will make bruises on herself and have my son arrested for domestic violence, if he does not obey her every command.  My son thinks he can 'handle' her, and makes excuses for her violent explosions--typical of long-term abuse victims, often referred to as 'Stockholm Syndrome'.  I am at a loss as to what I can do to protect my son, when he does not recognize his own need to for protection. 

They have tried marriage counseling, to no avail.  While discussing the logistics of separating and co-parenting their son, she announced that she wanted to have another child.  My son said he did not agree, that they were not getting along as it is, and he is barely making ends meet with the 3 people he is currently supporting on his minimum wage salary.  Her response shocked and disgusted both me, and my son--she told him that, if he does not get her pregnant, she will go find someone who will!!  That was the final straw for my son--he left the family home, to move in temporarily with some dear cousins who live nearby, picking up his son after work and dropping him off again before work.  I breathed a sigh of relief, that he was on the path to freedom from her abuses.  But, sadly, my relief was only short-lived.

A couple of weeks after he left her, she announced that she was pregnant, roping my son back into the family home, uncertain whether he is the father.  Since my son cannot afford it, I will now have to fork over money for a DNA test to determine the paternity of the child.  I pray the child is not my son's, that we may send her packing, and remove her as a constant threat to the health and well-being of me, my son, and my grandson.